Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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