YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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