I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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