Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
