"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
