We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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