Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
