I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
