she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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