remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
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