May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the day after is always just damage control
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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