the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
