so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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