Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
