I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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