You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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