First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
