I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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