took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
