Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My vagina is officially offended.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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