would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
