Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize