So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
