I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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