I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Who died my cat blue again?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
