North Korea, Best Korea!
i just had sex bonerless
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
