did you get engaged???
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize