he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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