But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My balls are so social today.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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