the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
