You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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