You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
