He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
