plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
