youre lurking in front of me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
