1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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