U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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