he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
