Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
