we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize