drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
my poor anus
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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