how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
