I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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