This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
