You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't special order awesome
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize