I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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