My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm too high and old for this...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
