my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
