Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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