did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
