You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
