3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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