spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't turn off my feet"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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