I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
