I look better un-naked...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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