Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
