It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
