His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
