i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
