Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
