you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Farmville is her only friend.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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