Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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